81 – How First Principles Guide and Impact Successful Partnerships – Part One.

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Part One of An Amazing Interview with Dr. Michael Gervais.

My extraordinary guest and special gift at the end of this very different year is to share a pretty incredible conversation with someone I respect and hold in very high regard, Dr. Michael Gervais.

Dr. Michael Gervais is a world-renowned high-performance psychologist and industry visionary. Over 20 years working with world-leading performers, Dr. Gervais has developed a psychological framework that allows people to thrive in pressure-packed environments. His clientele consists of the NFL’s Seattle Seahawks, countless Olympic medalists, MVPs from every major sport, world record holders, internationally acclaimed music artists, and corporate leaders. 

Dr. Gervais is the host of the popular Finding Mastery podcast that explores the psychology of some of the world’s most extraordinary thinkers and doers. Past guests range from Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella to best-selling author Brene Brown and NBA coach Steve Kerr.  

Dr. Gervais and NFL coach Pete Carroll founded Compete to Create, an online and live master class for the mind. They have worked with more than 30,000 employees at Microsoft alone on the mental skills and strategies to unleash one’s potential.

While at Microsoft, I was privileged to be part of one of the first teams to work with Michael to apply his work and first principles to the world of business organizations.

I invited Michael to the podcast because I am a student and have recognized that many of the fundamentals and principles that he teaches specifically apply to and are “first principles” of successful partnering.

There is a lot to unpack in this two-part conversation. I hope you listen as Michael’s insights apply to both our business and personal development, including:

  • His work, journey, the spark, and his belief system.
  • His work with Microsoft’s Leadership Team, featured in Satya’s Book, Hit Refresh.
  • How the fundamentals and principles he teaches directly apply as the first principles of successful partnering.
  • Personal Philosophy, Mindfulness, and other core principles from his Compete to Create Workshops and Audible Book.

HIS WORK, JOURNEY, THE SPARK, AND HIS BELIEFS 

  1. HIS WORK  – Standing on the shoulders of giants, studying the science of excellence, sometimes innovating and helping others make sense of the world.
  2. HIS JOURNEY – As a kid, just trying to figure it out and how coming from pain, boredom, and anxiety led him on the path.
  3. HIS BELIEF –”Everything you need is already inside you.”

WORKING WITH SATYA’S LEADERSHIP TEAM

  1. SETTING THE TONE – Getting the leaders in the room to clarify commitment to Microsoft’s audacious vision and to better know the people and get to the truth. 
  2. MINDSET –  A particular way you are approaching something. To perform under stress, you need to train the mind.
  3. EMPATHY – One of Microsoft’s backbone principles, how do you practice empathy, you need awareness. You don’t wait to practice empathy; you front-load it.

HOW HIS WORK APPLIES TO THE PRINCIPLES OF PARTNERING 

  1. COACHING GROWTH MINDSET IN PARTNERSHIPS – Mindset matters, as does human capital.
  2. HOW HE HELPS ORGANIZATIONS DEVELOP A COMPELLING VISION – it needs to be true, and there needs to be consistency, applying core principles to guide it.
  3. CREATING A SHARED VISION – See the brilliance in others, clarify and hold people to the set of standards to which we will hold ourselves.
  4. WHEN PARTNERSHIPS DON’T GO RIGHT- We need to be authentic and assess both accelerants and blockers. When we overestimated skills, there is tension.
  5. OTHER PRACTICES FROM HIS WORK – The importance of defining a “Personal Philosophy” and articulating first principles. We need to develop mental skills like we develop physical skills. Why knowing each other’s Personal Philosophy helps us “lock arms” in Partnership.

MORE FROM HIS TEACHINGS 

  1. THE FIVE FACTORS FROM MICHAEL’S WORK – Self-discovery, psychological skills, psychological framework, recovery mechanisms, mindfulness.
  2. HIS PHILOSOPHY – Every day is an opportunity to create a living masterpiece.
  3. BOOKS HE RECOMMENDS -See links* below to all the books we discuss in this interview.
  4. A FUN CONTEST FOR OUR LISTENERS – Michael and I are giving away two Compete to Create Master Classes – a $500 Value. To be selected, please answer this question, “Why I Want to Invest In My Inner Life?” and tag Michael on Linked In, Twitter, Instagram, and also tag @vincemenzione. We will announce two winners on Christmas Morning, 2020.

LINKS & RESOURCES

As with each of my episodes, I appreciate your support. Please tell your friends about Ultimate Guide to Partnering™ and where they can find us.

Please subscribe and listen on Apple, Spotify,  Google, Audible, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Player FM, almost anywhere you get your podcasts!

I’d love your feedback. Please provide comments or reach out to me at @vincemenzione on Linked In, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. You can also like and follow Ultimate Guide to Partnering Facebook page or drop me a line at vincem@cloudwavepartners.com.

Ultimate Guide to Partnering™ is a rich compendium of what makes successful partnerships.

This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Ultimate Partnerships. Ultimate Partnerships helps you get the most results from your partnerships. Get Partnerships Right – Optimize for Success – Deliver Results – Ultimate Partnerships.

Transcription By Otter.AI – Please Pardon Typos Below.

Dr. Michael Gervais 0:00
Now here’s the challenge our brain, our ancient brain, that three pounds of tissue that sits inside our skull. Its dictum is survival. So it scans the world to find all the potential dangers real and or imagined. And in doing so, it keeps us on alert when that happens with an undisciplined mind. So the brain is the hardware. The mind is the software with an undisciplined software or patchy or buggy software, the brain will win.

Announcer 0:34
Welcome to the Ultimate Guide to partnering in this podcast Vince Menzione. a proven industry sales and partner executive brings together technology leaders in this forum to discuss transformational trends and to deconstruct successful strategies to thrive and survive in the rapid age of cloud transformation. And now your host, Vince Menzione.

Vince Menzione 1:04
Welcome to the Ultimate Guide to partnering. I’m Vince Menzione. Your host my very special guest and my gift to you at the end of this very different new year is to share a pretty incredible conversation with someone I respect and hold in very high regard. Dr. Michael Gervais, Dr. Michael Gervais is a world renowned high performance psychologist and industry visionary. Over the course of 20 years working with world leading performers, Dr. Dre has developed a psychological framework that allows people to thrive in pressure packed environments. His clients include the NFL Seattle Seahawks, countless Olympic medalists MVPs from every major sport, world record holders, internationally acclaimed music artists, and corporate leaders. Michael is the host of the popular finding mastery podcast that explores the psychology of some of the world’s most extraordinary thinkers and doers. He’s had an amazing range of guests from Satya Nadella to best selling author Bernie brown to NBA coach Steve Kerr, Michael and NFL coach Pete Carroll founded compete to create an online and live masterclass for the mind. They have worked with more than 30,000 employees at Microsoft alone on the mental skills and strategies to unleash one’s potential. While I was at Microsoft, I was privileged to be part of one of the very first teams to apply Michael and Pete’s work. In fact, the work that we did with Michael proceeded the work that he did with Satya Nadella his leadership team, which was featured in the book, hit refresh. I invited Michael to the podcast because I’m a student. And I’ve recognized that many of the fundamentals and principles that he teaches specifically apply to enter first principles of successful partnering. There’s a lot to unpack during this conversation. Michael was extremely generous with his time and in fact, we spent almost two hours in conversation. And because of that, I’m releasing this interview as a two part series. I hope you listen. And I hope you enjoy this part one of my interview with Dr. Michael Gervais. Michael, welcome to the podcast.

Dr. Michael Gervais 3:31
I’m so stoked to be here with you. Thank you.

Vince Menzione 3:34
I am more than excited. It’s an understatement to say I’m excited to welcome you to the Ultimate Guide to partnering. We got to meet several years ago when I was in Microsoft’s public sector leadership team. I think we were one of the first groups to go through your program at the time.

Dr. Michael Gervais 3:50
Yeah, you were and that was like, Man was that a that was like one of those really special times in my life trying to sort out something that I was trying to convert the lessons from elite sport into, you know, world leading business. And so I want to just before we jump right into events, I will say thank you. And so I’m, I’m stoked to be here with you. And, you know, roll up our sleeves and talk about what we’ve come to learn together and the insights that allow people to flourish from the inside out.

Vince Menzione 4:20
Well, and also congratulations to you. I mean, an amazing career. I mean, when we first met Yeah, most of your work was around sports. But you’ve expanded that portfolio quite a bit. advising businesses and entrepreneur, a podcast host and an author really excited for this conversation today. Cool. Thank you. So let’s start with you. Can you describe for our listeners a little bit more about yourself? Sure.

Dr. Michael Gervais 4:46
Let’s start with the most concrete which is my training. by trained in training. I am a high performance psychologist. And so what does that mean? That means that I’ve been fortunate enough to study the science of excellence. And it’s one thing to study the frameworks and the theory and best practices of how the best in the world organize their inner life, and how they train their minds. And to understand that from a laboratory perspective, and I’m blessed to be able to stand on the shoulders of giants, they’re the second though part of it is that fieri needs to actually materially show up and work in rugged and high pressured high stress environments. And so for the last 20 years, I’ve been in those environments, sometimes innovating, sometimes using great science. And the hybrid between those two is what actually I was sharing with you guys, early days. And so to describe like, how I organize my life, I’ve got basically my professional life, I’ve got two basic business strategies. One is a service business, which is I have one or two clients a month, where they tend to be the best in the world at what they do. And we go deep, and we figure out like a self discovery process to be able to help them understand themselves better, so that they can layer on top of it, psychological skills that they can train, so that they can be more present, more confident. So they can train to be more calm, more poise. Those are trainable skills, those are not something that people are born with. And so we’re teaching the mechanics of resilience, and how to actually train to become more resilient. That’s the kind of service delivery, which is, let’s call it more of a passion project for me. And then the other part of the professional landscape is sharing those best practices at scale, and to try to reach one in five people in every environment that I’m fortunate to be in. And what does that mean, I’ll just I’ll stop with that with this last little comment here is that my purpose in life is to help people live in the present moment more often, so that they can meet the demands of the moment and be able to pivot and adjust towards exploring their potential. And to live in the present moment more often means we have to train our mind. And so that’s how I enter most conversations. You know, it’s like, let’s figure out how you can be your very best.

Vince Menzione 7:09
And can you tell our listeners about the path that led to despite in your life?

Dr. Michael Gervais 7:15
Yeah, so I’ll go back to I’ll share a story with if you don’t mind. Yeah, I was 15 years old. And I’m gonna go way back. But I think this illustrates the beginnings and the origins, if you will, and I was a good little athlete, you know, in Southern California, and my sport of choice was surfing. And I think that that’s important to note, not because I was, you know, some burnout, hippie, dippie kind of surfer dude. But I actually didn’t like the way it felt to be coached by adults. I didn’t like the artificial nature of manmade rules. And now that if you think about a 15 year old, you go, Oh, so kind of a, you know, counter culture, you know, kid rebellious kid, a little bit, a little bit. That was the case, but I found surfing to be so compelling, because it was me with Mother Nature. And the rules were clear. If you hesitate, there’s consequences. So it required a full commitment of attention, a deep understanding of how to express that right balance between confidence and humility. Because when you’re working with Mother Nature, I mean, it is it’s unforgiving in many respects. Especially surfing, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So here’s here’s the drill is that I was gonna sound hubristic of hubris right now, but I mean, this with humility is that I was good. But that was in free surfing. That was when there was no judges. That was when there was no competition at stake. As soon as the competition started to take place. And there was judges and, and family and friends on the beach, and there was scores and rankings. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t figure it out, Vince. So I went from this, you know, kind of hardcore, deeply respected in my community freesurfer pulling into heavy situations, not needing any affirmation, not you know, just being in the the kid that was about it. And then all of a sudden, when the lights turned on, and there was judgment and critique, I became, I was unable to access what I knew I could do. So it was like overnight, I couldn’t access my craft. And I knew my physical skill, didn’t train my technical skills didn’t train didn’t change. What changed was my mind. And I’m 15 years old. I’m in a competition. I’m a mess. And this gentleman, I was a 15 year old surfing against, you know, grown adults and he paddles by me, we surfed all the time together, and he said, gfa, you got to stop worrying about what could go wrong. And it was, yeah. And I was like, How did he know? How did he know? Like, what did he just do? Because all I was thinking about Vince was like, all the things that could go wrong, what they were going to think about me after it’s like as a 15 year old kid trying to sort out how to be okay. He pedaled away. And now let me set the scene. It’s about 7am in the morning, beautiful conditions, ideal surf conditions, only three people in the water, I could choose any wave just about I wanted, and I’m a mess, and he drops this gem on me. And I thought, What do I do with that?

Vince Menzione 10:19
Did that get in your head even more? I mean, that’s, that’s another form of judgment, isn’t it?

Dr. Michael Gervais 10:23
You know, it came off as like the sage, you know, not like, kind of begrudgingly or not, it didn’t come off anyway. Anyway, other than the sage. And so I thought for a moment, I said, Well, let me start thinking about what could go right. And so I started using my imagination. And I started to get more in touch with like, what could be good? And sure enough, like, I felt different. And so I got out of the water. And I was like, what was that come to find out? There’s a whole discipline called psychology. And that was the beginnings of me saying, oh, there’s something to the mind. And I need to learn it. Because I’m an anxious dude, and come to learn, like I had not only performance anxiety, but looking back, you know, I had some good old general anxiety that was pervasive across my relationships, my work life, you know, at school. And so it sent me down the path.

Vince Menzione 11:13
That’s amazing. Because I think all of us in the business world in sports as well, I mean, we we deal with that mind that monkey mind that we will live with, right that reptilian brain. Yeah, and all the aspects of that. So what did you do next? Like what did that lead you to at that point?

Dr. Michael Gervais 11:29
Okay, so this will maybe scare you a little bit, but I got a zero on my PSAT. And then I got a zero on my LSAT. And so

Vince Menzione 11:38
how do you get a zero, I don’t think

Dr. Michael Gervais 11:40
that’s not possible, you got to know you got to show up to get something so I didn’t show up to either of them. So it’s now Now fast forward to my senior year, and my parents are kind of in our kitchen. And they’re like, son, we tried, and, but we just couldn’t figure out how to really guide you to the college experience. And you know, you’ve got a choice to make, you got to either move out and get a job and kind of be on your own and follow your passion. Or if you want, we’ll pay for you to go to you know, school, and you can live here, but that school has to be a junior college, a community college, and I thought to myself, I’m not going to community college, you know, that that’s for those kind of rejects or something. And this is me being a 15 year old, one of them, you know, like, and so, and I thought to myself, second beat third beat four beats, and I’m like, wait a minute, I can still surf all day long. I know how to do like this fake school thing slash surfing. Let me do that. Let me play that out for a couple more years. And then lo and behold, my first semester, there was a three professors at the school and my parents made the decision. They said, Okay, listen, we’re gonna, like I came from humble beginnings. My parents were not in the upper class, I didn’t, I was going to be the first kid to go to college, in my family. And so I don’t want to paint this kind of image that we had it all together, you know. And so, so they scraped their chips together, and they put me Actually, instead of a community college, into a private to your college, and it was a big deal. And I knew that I had to actually take it somewhat seriously. But I was still more passionate about surfing than school by any means.

Vince Menzione 13:14
But it was a big deal for your parents at this point. Yeah. Big deal.

Dr. Michael Gervais 13:17
Yeah. And first semester, this is a cool part of the story. There was three professors that were best friends. One was the sounds like a bad joke. One was a theologian. One was a philosopher, and one was a psychologist, Dr. Cousteau, Dr. zanka, and Dr. Perkins. And they saw this now 1718 year old kid, kind of having no clue. But like a spark, I had a spark because I was pushing edges. And one of them kind of put his arm around me was like, Hey, kid, let me show you about the invisible world. I was like, what not? And so the three of them I fell in love with that Trinity, if you will, between those three, the spiritual, philosophical and psychological exploration. And they lit me on fire by challenging me. And I didn’t carry a book in high school. I didn’t study I didn’t. I did. I did show up to my LSAT Comm. This first semester, second semester, I was on fire. And I felt like, Ah, this is stimulating. No one had to ask me to read more than what was on the syllabus. I was reading more I was studying, I was trying to figure it out. Vince, I tested into remedial math in my first, you know, go at school at college. And so I had to take all of these extra classes to just kind of catch up 21 units a semester. We’re full time is 15. And I kept surfing. And so therein lies the origin story. It came from pain came from boredom. And it came from just not figuring out what was stimulating. And that was the beginnings.

Vince Menzione 14:49
I’m gonna peel back one more layer on this like, okay, there was a spark but what was the connection point like? What caused that spark? Like what what ignited you I guess

Dr. Michael Gervais 14:58
so there was I’m gonna stay With Dr. Cousteau for a minute, which was the psychology professor, the psychologist, and he says, One day, I just felt close to him. And mind you, I had this anxiety thing that I was trying to figure out. And so I came up to him, and we’re walking to class. And I say, Hey, Doc, can I talk to you for a minute? I’m trying to sort something out in life. He’s like, yeah, sure, Mike. And so we’re walking to class across this kind of, it was called the mall. So it was a green kind of pasture in between buildings. And I said, and now, as I’m sharing this with them, I am anxious, and my voice is cracking just a little bit. My body is tremoring, just a little bit, and it’s a friendly conversation with the person I deeply trust in. I say, Hey, I’m having a hard time in my relationship with my girlfriend at the time now wife, and I said, you know, just like I’m having a hard time, and I started to explain what was going on. And he interrupted me in the middle of me about to explain where I’m struggling. And he looks at me and he pauses and we square up on shoulders. And he says, Mike, when the phone rings, do you have to answer it? I was like, what that dude, these psychology people are freaking weird. Like, what? I was like, man, he just disrespected me. Like, what is that? So I was befuddled. I didn’t know what to do. I went to class and I just kind of sat there like, totally, like, totally confused. Two days later, is like a Tuesday, Tuesday, Thursday class. I go Doc, on the way to class, can I not get you again? It’s like, sure, Mike, come on. And I start telling the same story. He interrupted me again, almost the same place. This is when someone knocks on your door, do you have to answer it walked away? I was like, What is this? Come to find out it took me way too long to figure this out, Vince, but this is what he was sharing with me. Hey, dude, you are entertaining the same freakin story over and over and over again. It is a well rehearsed story. And I just interrupted you,

Vince Menzione 16:46
he interrupted your pattern,

Dr. Michael Gervais 16:48
he interrupted my pattern. And he did it in a weird way. And it was a great gift. And this what he was also saying in that story is that when you haven’t intruding thought, like somebody’s ringing your door, or ringing your phone and intruder to your time to your to your present moment, you don’t have to entertain that thought, because what I was doing is I was having a, you know, dinner, and I was inviting this guest in sharing my meal with them, you know, interrupting my dinner to entertain this person. What am I talking about right now, in this material moment with you, I was entertaining a thought that I didn’t even want to entertain. And that is how our minds work. And so it was this incredible like, relief, when I finally figured it out, no help. I finally figured out like I’m entertaining stuff that I don’t need to entertain because it’s actually destroying my ability to be fully present, and to experience a sense of peace and happiness and joy and freedom. And so from that point, I realized that there’s a process to relieve anxiety. And that same process is also that sits underneath optimization of how to use my mind towards potential. So there it is 2918 year old kid trying to sort it out, coming from a ragged, you know, place, and earning my scar tissue of anxiety, and having a weird engagement with a professor that fundamentally changed my life.

Vince Menzione 18:10
So there you go. It’s an amazing story. So Michael, what belief has had the biggest and most positive impact on you? And why?

Dr. Michael Gervais 18:20
Oh, that is a cool thought Vince, I would be there’s many beliefs that I hold to be true. And one of the ones that’s been incredibly powerful, is that everything I need is already inside me. Hmm. And there is a framework there that sits on top of a spiritual framework, you know, and so let’s just talk about, you know, when I talk about spirit, some people hear religious and when I talk about framework, some people hear psychology or philosophy. So I’m going to talk about merge those and talk about a spiritual framework is that everything I need, everything you need, I believe is already inside you. What does that mean? It means what is true, beautiful and good already exists inside you. And so part of our job is to figure out how to work from that place. And what happens for many of us vents is that we feel complete, I’m sorry, we feel incomplete. And that incomplete nature is filled by the need for affirmation, the need for money, the need for recognition, when in reality, everything we need is already inside of us. And our job is to express from that place, and to deeply connect and share with others. So it is not that we need someone to love us, someone to give to us, someone to recognize us. But our job is to deeply connect to what we already have access to and then share that with others. Now, here’s the challenge is that our brain, our ancient brain, that three pounds of tissue that sits inside our skull. It’s dictum. Is survival. So it scans the world to find all the potential dangers, real and or imagined. And in doing so, it keeps us on alert, when that happens with an undisciplined mind. So the brain is the hardware, the mind is the software, with an undisciplined software or a patchy or buggy software, the brain will win. Now, what are the strong software that I’m talking about? It is the psychological part of us that says, not everything’s a frickin threat. So let’s use a sophisticated filter of a discipline, a trained filter, if you will, to interpret events to make sense of how the world works, and I fit in it, how you fit in it. And so everything you need is already inside you. So let’s work from a place of high positive regard for the the true nature of the other person, let’s work from that framework. And I think that there’s a dignity in that there’s a regard in that, that is special. And it doesn’t, it means that you don’t need something outside of you just have to be able to be okay. With working from the inside out.

Vince Menzione 21:18
Wow, there’s a lot there. There’s a lot, you know, I’ve been a student of some of your work. And I’ve recently been listening again to your compete to create work that you created with Pete Carroll. I want to peel back on this a little bit here. Because you’re talking about how we interpret our minds, how do we still aren’t we fill our minds, we talk about how we learn what our true, what’s what’s in us. That’s true. I think that’s where you talk about personal philosophy, and maybe getting to that point and understanding that about ourselves. What are some of the work that you do to tell people along that that path? Okay, so

Dr. Michael Gervais 21:57
let’s start with a bit of science, first, a little bit of research. And then I’d love to share as many practices as I can with you today. And everything that I’m going to share is already inside of an online training course that in partnership with Coach Carroll that we built to help people take these gems and insights and practices and put it into a formal structure. So anything that you want to pull on deeper or go further with is already embedded in an eight week online course, that we think is our best work when it comes to training and conditioning of the mind the practice of it. Okay, so let’s start with some some research. And the research is Harvard did a study, and it was a 75 year study where they measured where they track people longitudinal study, and they were measuring and wanting to understand fulfillment. So at the end, they said, Did you feel like your life was fulfilled or not? So some people said, Yes. And some people said, no, then the people that said, yes, they double clicked and asked more questions. You know, what the key fine, one of the key findings was, is that those that reported to have a fulfilled life, they grokked with the difficult questions in life. They didn’t solve them. They didn’t have answers for them, but they wrestled with them. What is the difficult question? Okay, who am I? What is my purpose? How do I spend my money? What am I going to do for the next generation? So one of the things that we’ve done in our program is we’ve developed a self discovery process, to assist in the grokking, with the difficult questions, when you have a better sense of how life works for you. For humans, if you extrapolate out, it becomes so much easier that you don’t have to kind of build everything on the fly, but that you can adjust and pivot and be eloquent in a resilient nature to the unfolding, unpredictable, unknown moment, each moment is that it’s unpredictable, it’s unfolding, and it’s unknown. You and I have never been in this moment, we have a history, but we’ve never been in this moment together. So your job is to pivot and adjust. And my job is to pivot and adjust. And I would say that you will be better at pivoting and adjusting. If you have a sense of your personal philosophy in life, if you have a sense of your true purpose, your North Star. So we begin with asking people and walking them through a series of questions. What is your personal philosophy? And you say, Vince, you say, Well, what is like what is that? So it’s not complicated? It’s like what are your first principles? What are the principles in your life? Now watch me on this. What are the principles that guide your thoughts, your words and your actions? That’s what a philosophy is, all of the 11 world religions have a clear philosophy to help you guide your thoughts, your words and your actions. So you can go to one of the 11 world religions that you know, four of them have shaped humanity in modern times more than any other kind of book or practice. AND and OR YOU You can build a hybrid of your own if you were to see that as being more fitting. But the work is to say, what are my first principles and write them down. And then if you can get those down on paper, externalize that, those core principles, and then maybe put them into a sense, my philosophy is, and why get into a sentence, because you could probably get a sentence out under duress. But if it’s a, you know, 200 page essay on first principles, you can’t get that out, when you’re feeling pressure from your boss to, you know, get a deadline done, or you’ve got a, you know, a relationship challenge where you feel like you’re just like absolutely on the spot and don’t know what to say, or how to say or convey what you’re feeling. Like, you got to have some clarity about first principles to help you when you’re in a stressful situation to line up your thoughts, words and actions. And then I’ll let me double click one more time, please do. Yeah, the mental skills practicing, okay, the practicing of mental skills, and we practice mental skills, just like we practice physical skills events. So you go to a gym, and you train physically, we do the same exact thing mentally. But I don’t think our field our science has done a great job of showing, putting handles on the skills, like you have a handle on a dumbbell, let me show you, I can give you the handles on how to train your mind. So you can do sets and reps for confidence sets and reps to become sets and reps for deep focus. Now let’s go back upstream to to philosophy. When you know your philosophy, it will help you adjust to align your thoughts, words and actions in a more purposeful way. And so that’s kind of like one of the big rocks to get in the container. And I’ll stop talking after this. What is Dr. Martin Luther King’s philosophy? What do you think, Vince,

Vince Menzione 26:49
I should know this because you discuss this in the book. So I believe it’s racial equality for all

Dr. Michael Gervais 26:54
Yeah, right. I mean, it’s not because you read the book, you know that you know, what he’s about Malala? What is like, verses about human rights? You know, what about filan? Anyone that you’re inspired by, you know, Buddha, or Jesus or Confucian, like, we know what they stand for. We know their personal philosophy, because it’s what they thought about most, it’s what they expressed in most rooms, or places that they were in. So when they came into environment, and their philosophy was clear, everybody else knows it. And so one of the great accelerants to teamwork, to partnerships to working well with others. Hold on, I want to say this too. Nobody does it alone, Vince, we need each other. That’s why I love you know, the tone of your podcast about partnerships. Nobody does the extraordinary alone. It’s too big. It’s too complicated. We need each other. And so one of the great accelerants to working well with others, is for them to know your philosophy. What are your guiding principles and for you to know there’s the when times get tough, and there’s stress in an environment, and you’ve got a little bit of a deeper connection, you know where they’re wanting to come from, you can help them you can stay more connected, because you’ve got that deeper connection with each other. Because what happens for most people go back how the brain works, they’re scanning the world for danger. And when danger is in place, it is natural for us to unlock our arms, and try to save our own ass. That’s how the fight flight freeze thing works. We feel like if you’re kind of blowing it over there, and I think you’re kind of blowing it, I can’t hold you up. Because I got I got danger, too. I’m trying to sort out. So we unlock our arms. And it’s

Vince Menzione 28:35
a scarcity mentality, right? That’s how I refer to it. That’s right, we’re really concerned about our own survival, fight or flight.

Dr. Michael Gervais 28:42
That’s it. And that is, that is human nature. So to move into the extraordinary places of high performance. And there’s a beauty that I want to add to the total note there not just more money and more fame, or more whatever, but really doing some special work towards your upper capabilities. And then when we do it, together with others, something very special takes place. So what happens for most teams and organizations and they have a Hurrah moment in the beginning and they’re like, yes, that’s the vision. Yes. That’s the mission. I got it. Okay, strategy is on point, let’s lock arms. Let’s go take that hill. And then as soon as there’s live bullets, and it feels like it’s not going according to plan, people unlock their arms, and you see it in sport quite easily, you know, and you see it in business more frequently.

Vince Menzione 29:27
I love this because this ties in so much to what I teach organizations, right? When I talk about growth mindset, I talk about having I call a shared vision, but it also and I want to unpack on vision versus philosophy for a moment. I think there’s somewhat intertwined. Can you make that distinction for our listeners, what is the difference between a personal philosophy and maybe a personal vision or vision? Sure,

Dr. Michael Gervais 29:51
yeah. So personal philosophy are the first principles, you know the principles, the unwavering principles that you’re committing to again to line up your thoughts, your words and your actions, that’s a philosophy. And a vision is when you use your imagination, to see something that has yet to take place. And you believe that it’s so compelling that you will do whatever it takes to experience that, to make that a reality. So a shared vision is when two people, or 200 people, or 2000, or 200,000, people are using their imagination to see a state that has not yet happened. But it is so compelling, that they are willing and wanting and motivated to work toward it. And that it’s not complicated. You know, that’s what a vision really is. And what we do, for in elite sport, and I’m hoping to share this practice in high performing and world class business practices is that the way that we help shape a vision for individuals like athletes, is that we need to be and I’m talking about like a coach, right, we need to be so present, that we are capturing glimpses of them at their very best. And if we go, Oh, there it is. And we archive it in our memory. And then as soon as we possibly can, you know, if you can do it, within three seconds, it is far greater than if you can only share this when I’m about to say, in two minutes, or two hours or two days, you want to try to get as close as you possibly can. When you see the brilliance in somebody, and you’re seeing their capacity being expressed, their potential being expressed. And you you call it out, and you share that with them. And they nod their head and they say, Yeah, that’s it, that felt great. That’s it. And then you both nod your heads together, that that’s what you’re going to work toward that type of partnership, that goes a long way. And so that’s how we help actually create a vision for another person and potentially a shared vision. But we need both people to nod their heads for it to be real. And that not also signifies on a hold you to that standard. Are you going to hold yourself to that standard. And then both people go, yeah, that is awesome. So that’s what I think a component of great leadership is, is to see the brilliance and others and to clarify that image and idea with the other person. And then for the two or many to to hold each other to the standards that will lead to that more often.

Vince Menzione 32:26
So clarify what success looks like. Like for me with organizations, I’ll stand up with a partner of Microsoft and say, your joint vision with Microsoft is to be the leader in your particular sector, like up on stage with Microsoft talking about this amazing success you’ve had together, or maybe in the field is to sales people that are winning business together, because they ultimately believe that their joint solution is the best thing for their customer, or for solving a challenge.

Dr. Michael Gervais 32:55
Yes. So that’s at a more systemic level. And then when we drill down into the individuals, you know, that are going to lead to that. So we can you and I could create a shared vision for our mutual businesses. And then we could go Yeah, yeah, that seems good, then we have to drill down underneath of it and say, Okay, what are the standards that you’re going to hold to, and I’m going to hold to, so that that thing is actually materially can take place. And I’m using this the word standard, rather than strategy, rather than anything else. Because I we need to start with the standards that we’re going to hold ourselves to what we caught a glimpse of that could be and anyways, that’s how it typically works in elite sport, in a thoughtful way. There are plenty of opportunities in elite sport that point to this next human up mentality. And, you know, super transactional, if you don’t have it, you got to go. And there are some organizations that do that. And they do that and they went a lot, but it’s a bit of an empty meal. You know, it doesn’t really feel that good, even when you win, because there’s a disservice to the human condition for the winning for the trophy.

Vince Menzione 33:58
Thank you, Michael. So appreciate you. As with each of my episodes, I appreciate your support. Please subscribe on your favorite platform, like comment, tell your friends about Ultimate Guide to partnering and where they can find us and i’d love your feedback. Please like the podcast and provide comments or reach out to me at Vince Menzione on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. You can also like and follow Ultimate Guide to partnering on our Facebook page, or drop me a line at Vince m at ultimate dash partnerships.com this episode of the podcast is sponsored by ultimate partnerships. Ultimate partnerships helps you get the most results from your partnerships, get partnerships, right, optimize for success, deliver results. For more information, go to ultimate dash partnerships.com

Announcer 34:55
thanks so much for listening to this episode of The Ultimate Guide to partnering with your host Vince Menzione online at Ultimate Guide to partnering.com and facebook.com slash Ultimate Guide to partnering. We’ll catch you next time on The Ultimate Guide to partnering

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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